In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
Time and again I am asked by people on a
concrete occasion ‘What is the Will of God for me now, in the nearest
future?’ And I always refuse to speak in God's own Name, because I
believe that all I, or any priest, can do is to stand before God in awe,
and say, ‘Lord, Thou art the Truth, Thou art Life, Thou are also the Way
— teach this person; be to this person the Way, enlighten this person
with the truth, and bring him to such plenitude of life as no one can
either convey or give’.
And yet there are things which can be
done. Each of us is a freeman of God, as St. Paul said clearly, He says
there was a time when we all were slaves of Satan, slaves of our
passions, of our fears, slaves of all the things that press on all sides
and do not allow us to be true people. In Christ freedom is granted; not
licence, but the freedom to be ourselves, the freedom to grow into the
fullness of the stature which God has dreamt for us, to grow into
fullness that will make us truly living members of the Body of Christ,
partakers of the Divine Nature.
On whatever step of our spiritual
development we are, the first thing which is required of us is that we
should be true to ourselves: not to try to be anyone except the person
we are; not to try to ape any behaviour, to force ourselves into any
mould in heart, in mind, in will which could be a lie before God, to lie
to ourselves, a deception for others. The first rule is to be true to
ourselves; and to be true with all the integrity, all the passion, all
the joy of which we are capable. And what does this mean? Apart from
what I said a moment ago, it means that we must find who we are not only
socially, but at another level. And to do this, we can read the Gospel
which is an image of what a true human being is; not a book of
commandments, of orders, as it were, given by God, ‘Do this, and you
will be right in My sight’ — no: it is a picture of what a real human
being thinks, feels, does and is. Let us look into the Gospel as one
looks into a mirror, and we will discover that in so many ways we are a
distorted image but that in a few ways perhaps, we are a true human
being already, at least potentially. Let us mark those passages of which
we can say, like Luke and Cleophas on the way to Emmaeus: Does not my
heart burn within me when I hear, when I read these words? How beautiful
they are! How true! That is life!.. And if you find one passage or
another to which you respond this way, rejoice; because at that point
God has reached you at the deepest level of your being, revealed to you
who you truly are; but at the same time revealed to you Who He truly is,
shown you that you and He are in harmony; that if you only become what
you already, potentially, truly are, you will become His like, the like
of God; a true undistorted image — at least in one or two things.
Then there is another move; if we want
to be truly ourselves, we must remember that God does not expect us to
be what we are not, but what we are. And that we can stand before God,
and say to Him, 'Lord! I have read this and that in the Gospel; I
understand it with my mind; I believe in my heart that it must be true;
but it does not set my mind aglow, my heart on fire; it does not stir my
will, it does not transform me yet. Accept me as I am! I will change —
but for the moment I cannot respond to such a commandment, to such an
example. There is a passage so beautiful, to me, in the writings of St.
Mark the Ascetic in which he says, ‘If God stood before you, and said,
Do this, and do that — and your heart could not answer 'Amen' — don't do
it; because God does not need your action: He needs your consent, and
harmony between Him and you’.
Let us therefore try when we ask ourselves in an attempt
to find out what the Will of God is for us, not in the absolute, but now:
where do I already stand? What can I already now be and do, and do it
wholeheartedly with God? — because in the end, the aim of our spiritual
life, of our life and our faith in Christ does not consist in being
drilled into doing one thing rather than the other; it is to establish
between God and us a relationship of true friendship, of a joy of mutual
freedom, and within this freedom, within this friendship, in response to
God's love, to God's respect for us, to the faith He has in us, to the
hope He has vested in us, and say 'This person has understood that he is
not a slave, that he is My friend — and He is our friend. What a joy!
And it is a gift of God, which we can give Him as we received it from
Him! Amen.
Source:www.mitras.ru/eng/
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