By Abba John of Lycus (from “The Lausiac
History,” by St. Palladius)
There was a monk who lived in the
desert, conducting himself properly and scrupulously for many years. When he was
already getting to be quite elderly, he was severely tested by the wiles of the
demons. His usual practice consisted of passing his days in silence, with many
prayers and psalms and periods of contemplation. He had clear insights into many
divine visions, sometimes waking, and sometimes even when asleep, although he
actually slept hardly at all, living a life apart from the body. He did not till
the ground, he took no thought for the necessities of life, and he cultivated no
garden to supply his bodily needs. Nor did he catch birds or hunt any other
animal, but full of the faith in which he had abandoned human community, he
cared nothing for whether or not his body would be nourished. Forgetful of all
else, he was sustained solely by his desire for God, waiting for his call to
depart from this world, feeding above all on these things which cannot be
perceived with the senses.
Throughout all this time, his body did
not waste or show any ill effects, nor was he gloomy in spirit, but he continued
to appear his normal attractive self. And God truly honored him indeed, for
after a due interval of time He supplied his table with bread for two or three
days, not just apparently but actually, for him to use. He would go into his
inner room when he felt the pangs of hunger and find this food there. And having
praised God and taken some food, he would again sing psalms, persevering in
prayers and contemplation, growing daily, giving himself to the pursuit of
virtue in hope of the future. He went on progressing more and more, until he
almost got to the stage of putting his trust in his own powers of improvement
and thereby came to his downfall, almost perishing in the temptations which then
came upon him.
His thoughts had arrived at such a pass
that he was little by little imprudently beginning to think more of himself than
anyone else, and that he possessed much more than other men, and for this reason
he began to put his trust solely in himself. Not long after he first thought
like this, his vigilance relaxed slightly, but so little that he did not even
notice that there had been any relaxation. But his negligence grew until it
progressed to the extent that he could not fail but notice it. He was late in
waking up to sing psalms, his prayers became shorter, his psalm singing did not
last so long, his soul said to him that he needed to rest (and his mind agreed
with that), his thoughts wandered and scattered, his secret meditations were
spiritless.
But the impetus of his earlier routine
still motivated him, and kept him safe for a while, so that when he went in
after his usual prayers of an evening, he still found the bread supplied by God
on his table and refreshed himself accordingly. But he still did not cut off his
unworthy thoughts, he despised the idea that his soul was being damaged; he made
no attempt to seek a remedy for these evils. Little by little he fell into
omitting many of the things which he ought to have been doing. In thought he
began to develop a desire for human company.
The next day he put a temporary
restraint on himself, and returned to his usual exercises, but after he had
prayed and sung his psalms, he went into the storeroom and found that the bread
placed there was not so well baked or wholesome as usual, but was dirty and
polluted. He wondered about this and was very sad about it, but nevertheless
picked it up and ate it.
Came the third night and with it a
third evil. For thoughts suddenly erupted in his mind, activating his memory so
much that he imagined there was a woman lying with him. This image persisted in
front of his eyes, and he actively encouraged it. But on this third day he went
out to his work and his prayers and his psalms, although his mind was not clean
anymore, and strayed frequently. He lifted up his eyes to the heavens, turning
them this way and that, but the images in his memory prevented his work from
being unspoiled. In the evening when he returned feeling hungry, he found that
the bread looked as if it had been chewed by mice or dogs, and the scraps left
over were dried up as if left outside.
He began to groan and weep, but not so
much as to make him want to correct his faults. Having eaten less than he would
have wished, he prepared himself for rest, but at once his thoughts went wild,
dancing around in every direction, battling for possession of his mind, and
taking it captive into uncleanness. He got up and began to walk towards the
inhabited regions, walking through the desert by night. Daylight came and he was
still a long way off from any habitation. He began to be overcome by the heat
and felt very tired. He gazed around him in a complete circle, and saw at some
distance what appeared to be a monastery where he might go in and get some
refreshment. And so it was. He was accepted in by some good and faithful
brothers, who treated him as a real father and washed his face and his feet.
They prayed with him, put food before him, and invited him most kindly to
partake of what they were offering him.
After he had eaten, the brothers asked
him for a word of salvation, and what means there were of being able to be safe
from the wiles of the devil, and how to overcome unclean thoughts. Like a father
admonishing his sons, he urged them to be strong and constant in their labors in
order to arrive quickly to a state of being at peace. He discussed many other
aspects of their discipline with them and helped them greatly.
When he had finished he thought for a
while and marveled at how he was giving advice to others without looking to
himself and trying to amend. He acknowledged he was beaten and straightaway went
back to the desert, weeping for himself, and saying, “Unless the Lord had been
my helper my soul had remained in hell. (Pss 94:17). I have almost been overcome
by evil. They have brought me back to earth.” Thus were fulfilled in him the
words, A brother who is helped by a brother is like a city built up on high,
whose wall cannot be breached. (Prov 18:19). Whereas before he used to spend all
his time without doing any physical work, now he was deprived of the bread
provided by the Lord and labored for his daily bread. And when he had shut
himself up in his inner room and covered himself in sackcloth and ashes, he did
not get up from the ground or cease from weeping until he had heard the voice of
the angel saying to him in a dream, The Lord has accepted your repentance and
has had mercy on you. From now on live in such a way that you will not be
deceived. The brothers you gave advice to will come to you and will show the
high opinion they have of you. Accept them, live with them, and give thanks to
God always.
I have told you these things, my sons,
that you may always cultivate humility and be seen to do so in small things as
in great. This was the first of the Savior’s precepts, Blessed are the poor in
spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (Mt 5:3). And do not be deceived by
the demons, stirring you up with visions and fantasies. If anyone approaches
you, whether brother, friend, woman, father, teacher, mother or sister, first
lift up your hands in prayer. If they are fantasies, they will flee. And if
either demons or human beings would deceive you by agreeing with you and
flattering you, don’t listen to them or get carried away by them. For the demons
would often try to deceive me at night also, preventing me from praying,
disturbing my peace, presenting fantasies to me the whole night through, and
mockingly prostrating themselves in the morning, saying, “Forgive us, abba, for
giving you such hard work all night.” I just say to them, Depart from me, all
you who work evil, do not put the servant of the Lord to the test. (Pss 6:8).
Do likewise, O my sons, seek peace.
Direct your whole self always towards contemplation, begging God that your mind
may be purified. Anyone practicing his faith in the world may also be a good
workman, engaged in doing good, showing humanity and pity, hospitality and
charity, giving alms, blessing those who come to him, helping those in
difficulties and avoiding giving offence to anyone.
Such a person is to be commended, for
he keeps the commandments and gets things done, even while busy with earthly
affairs. But a greater and more excellent thing is to be turned towards
contemplation, given not to action but to thought, leaving to others the
production of material goods. Denying himself he will contemplate heavenly
things, completely forgetful of self, standing before the God of all completely
free and unencumbered, turning away for no other consideration whatsoever.
Someone like this may not yet enjoy God yet turns always towards God in eager
songs of praise.
I know someone in the desert who never
tasted earthly food for a space of ten years. An angel fed him every third day
with heavenly food, placing it directly into his mouth. To him it was as good as
food and drink. I know also that the demons came to this man in the form of
fantasies, showing him heavenly armies, chariots of fire, a crowd of followers,
as if some king were coming, and saying, “You have done all things well and
virtuously, O Man. All you need now is to worship me and I will take you up like
Elias.” But the monk replied, “Daily I worship my King and Savior, but if he
were here now that is not a demand that he would make of me.” From the bottom of
his heart he then cried, “God is my Lord and King whom I ever adore. My king you
are not.” And the vision vanished immediately. Unlike some, he strove to keep
secret his way of life and the things he did. It was the fathers with him who
said that he had seen these things.
These and many other things the blessed
John told us, nourishing our souls up to the ninth hour for three days. And as
he blessed us, bidding us go in peace, he also gave us a prophecy. “It has been
announced today in Alexandria,” he said, “that the most devout Theodosius has
won a victory over the tyrant Eugenius, [in the year 394] who has died his own
well-deserved death”, which came to pass exactly as he had said.
We were also aware of a great number of
monks who were with him in the church, like a great choir of the righteous,
dressed in white robes, glorifying God in fervent psalms. After we saw many
other fathers some brothers came and told us that the blessed John had died a
wonderful death. For he had given orders that no one should visit him for three
days, during which he passed away as he knelt in prayer into the presence of
God, to whom be glory for ever.
