One of the foremost experts on the depths of the human spirit, St.
Isaac the Syrian, says in his 41st homily: “The one who has come to a
realization of his sin is higher than the one who raises the dead
through prayer; whoever has been able to see his own self is higher than
the one who has been granted the vision of angels.” It is for the
purpose of self-knowledge that we will examine the matter we have stated
in the title.
Pride, and egotism, and vanity, to which we can add -
haughtiness, arrogance, conceit - are all different varieties of one
basic manifestation - “turning towards oneself.” Out of all these words
two have the most concrete meaning: vanity and pride; according to the
“Ladder” they are like youth and man, seed and bread, beginning and end.
The symptoms of vanity, this initial sin: intolerance of criticism, a
thirst for praise, a search for easy paths, constant orientation upon
others - what will they say? how will it appear? what will they think?
Vanity sees an approaching audience from afar and makes the wrathful -
affectionate, the irresponsible - serious, the distracted -
concentrated, gluttons - temperate, and so on - all of this while there
are observers around..
The same orientation upon an audience explains the sin of
self-justification, which often creeps unnoticeably even into our
confession: “I am no more sinful than the rest…. only insignificant
sins…. I have not killed anyone or stolen anything.”
The demon of vanity is overjoyed, says St. John of the
Ladder, seeing our virtues increase: the more successes we have, the
more food for vanity. “When I keep fast, I am vain; when I hide my
spiritual labors - I am vain over my piety. If I dress pleasingly, I am
vain, and if I put on old clothes, I become even vainer. If I begin to
speak - I am consumed by vanity, if I keep silent - I become still
vainer. No matter how you turn this prickly plant - it always has its
thorns sticking upward.” As soon as a kind feeling or a sincere movement
arises in a man’s heart, immediately there appears a vain backward look
at oneself, and thus - these most precious movements of the soul
disappear, melt like snow under the sun. They melt, which means they
die; which means that because of vanity the best in us dies; thus we
kill ourselves with vanity and we replace a real, simple and good life
with phantoms.
Increasing vanity gives rise to pride.
Pride is supreme self-confidence, rejecting all that is not of
itself, it is a source of rage, cruelty and malice, a refusal to accept
God’s help, a “demonic stronghold.” It is an “iron curtain” between
ourselves and God (Abba Pimen); it is an enmity towards God, the origin
of all sin, it is present in every sin. Every sin constitutes a willing
yielding of oneself to one’s vice, a conscious flouting of God’s law, an
audacity against God, although “the one who is subject to pride is
desperately in need of God, for no man can save such a one” (“The
Ladder”).
Where does this vice came from? How does it begin? What
does it feed on? Through what stages does it pass in its development?
What are the characteristics by which one can recognize it?
The latter is particularly important, because a proud
person usually does not see his sin. A wise elder once counseled one of
his monastics to shun pride, but the latter, blinded by his intellect,
replied: “Forgive me, father, but there is absolutely no pride in me.”
The wise elder said to him: “There is no better proof of your pride,
child, than such an answer!”
In any case, if a person finds it hard to ask forgiveness
of others, if he is easily offended and mistrustful, if he is rancorous
and judgmental of others, - all of these are undoubtedly signs of pride.
In the “Homily against pagans” of Saint Athanasius the
Great there are the following words: “Men have fallen into self-desire,
preferring to contemplate themselves rather than divinity.” This brief
definition reveals the essence of pride: man, for whom until now the
center and the object of desire was God, has turned away from Him, has
fallen into “self-desire,” has come to love himself more than God, has preferred self-contemplation to divine contemplation.
In our life this turning towards “self-contemplation” and
“self-desire” has become part of our nature and can often be seen in the
mighty instinct for self-preservation, both in our earthly and our spiritual life.
Just as a cancerous growth often begins with a bruise or a
continuous irritation of a certain spot, so the spiritual illness of
pride often begins either with a sudden shock (for example, due to some
calamity), or from a continuous massaging of one’s ego due to success,
good fortune, the constant exhibition of one’s talents, etc.
Often you are dealing with a so-called “temperamental”
individual, passionate, talented, easily fascinated. Such a person is
like an erupting volcano, with his ceaseless activity preventing both
God and men from getting near to him. He is full of himself, totally
absorbed in himself, intoxicated with himself. He does not see or feel
anything except his burning talent, from which he derives great
enjoyment and satisfaction. One can hardly do anything with such people
until they become played out, until the volcano becomes extinguished.
Such is the danger of all talented and gifted people. Talent should be
balanced by deep spirituality.
Otherwise, in reverse cases, in situations of great sorrow
- there is the same result: the person becomes totally absorbed in his
misfortune, in his eyes the surrounding world becomes dull and dark; he
cannot think or speak of anything except his sorrow; he wallows in it,
he finally holds onto it as the only thing left to him, as the only
reason in life.
Often this turning towards oneself becomes developed in
people who are quiet, submissive, taciturn, whose personal life had been
suppressed from childhood, and this “suppressed subjectivity
compensates itself by engendering a tendency towards egocentrism” (Jung,
“Psychological types”) in the most diverse manifestations: quickness to
take offence, mistrust, coquetry, seeking of attention, and even in the
form of direct psychoses such as persecution mania, megalomania, etc.
Thus, a concentration upon oneself leads a person away
from the world and from God; he becomes chipped off, so-to-speak, from
the general tree trunk of world-outlook and turns into a shaving curled
around an empty spot.
The progression of the spiritual illness
Let us try to outline the major stages of the development
of pride, from slight self-satisfaction to extreme spiritual
darkness and total destruction.
At first it is seen as frequent attention to oneself,
almost normal, accompanied by a good mood bordering on flippancy. A
person is satisfied with himself, laughs a lot, whistles, hums, snaps
his fingers. He likes to appear original, to amuse others with paradox
and wit; he exhibits unusual tastes, is capricious in food. He willingly
gives advice and amicably interferes in the affairs of others; he
unconsciously manifests his exclusive interest in himself with the
following phrases (interrupting the conversation): “no, let me tell you,” or “no, I know a better story,” or “I have the habit of….,” or “I usually follow the rule of….”.
At the same time he is greatly dependent on the
approval of others, depending on which he either blossoms or
fades and becomes sour. In general, however, at this stage
his mood remains fairly bright. This form of egocentrism is
usually characteristic of youth, although it is sometimes seen
in adults.
Such a person is lucky if at this stage he
encounters serious concerns, especially for others (marriage, a
family), a job, a project. Or if he becomes entranced with
religious life and, attracted by the beauty of spiritual
endeavour, realizes his spiritual poverty and becomes desirous
of the aid of grace. If this does not occur, the illness
progresses further.
There appears in him a sincere belief in his own
superiority. Often this is expressed through irrepressible
verbosity. What else is verbosity if not, on the one hand,
an absence of modesty, and on the other hand - a delight in
one’s own self? The egoistic nature of verbosity is not
lessened by instances of discussion of serious topics; a proud
person can easily prose on humility and silence, can glorify
fasting, can debate on the merits of good works versus prayer.
Self-assurance quickly turns into a passion for
ordering others around; such a person imposes his will upon
others (but is intolerant of his own will being imposed upon),
takes charge of others’ attention, time, efforts, becomes
impudent and obnoxious. His affairs are important, the affairs
of others are of little value. He tries to do everything,
interferes in everything.
At this stage the proud person’s mood begins to
spoil. In his aggressiveness he naturally meets with
opposition and rebuffs; he becomes irritable, stubborn, peevish;
he becomes certain that no one understands him, even his
spiritual father; his conflicts with the world increase and
the proud person makes a final choice: “I” against others
(but not yet against God).
The soul becomes dark and cold, becomes the abode
of arrogance, contempt, anger, hate. The mind becomes
obscured, the differentiation between good and evil becomes
muddled, becomes replaced by the differentiation between “mine”
and “not mine.” He escapes from all obedience, is intolerable
to all segments of society; his purpose is to propagate his
own views, to vanquish and shame others; he hungrily seeks
fame, even notoriety, revenging himself upon the world for its
lack of acknowledgment. If he is a monk - he leaves his
monastery which has become intolerable to him, and seeks his
own paths. Occasionally this force of self-assertion is
directed towards material acquisition, a career, social and
political activity; sometimes, if there is talent, it is
directed towards creativity, and in such a case, through
pushiness, the proud person can even achieve some measure of
success. On these same grounds schisms and heresies are
created.
Finally, at the last stage, the person separates
from God. If previously he sinned out of mischief and mutiny,
now he allows himself everything: sin no longer bothers him
but becomes a habit; if he feels easy about anything at
this stage, it is his easy relations with the demons and his
easy access to dark paths. The state of the soul is
dismal, hopeless, totally isolated, but at the same time there
is a sincere conviction in the rightness of his path and a
feeling of complete safety, despite the fact that he is being
rushed on black wings to perdition.
In truth, such a state of mind does not differ greatly from madness.
At this stage the proud person lives in a state of total
isolation. Look at how he talks, argues: he either does
not hear at all what others say to him, or hears only that
which coincides with his own views; if something is said to
him contrary to his opinions, he becomes angry as though he
were greatly offended, and viciously refutes everything. In
those around him he sees only those qualities, which he
himself had imposed upon them, so that even in his praises he
remains proud, self-centered, impervious to objectivity.
Characteristically the most prevalent forms of
psychological illness - megalomania and persecution mania -
spring directly from “increased self-awareness” and are totally
unthinkable in individuals who are humble, simple and
self-sacrificing. Even psychiatrists believe that paranoia is
based upon an exaggerated awareness of one’s own self, a
hostile attitude towards others, a loss of normal ability for
adaptation, an irrationality of beliefs. A classic paranoiac
never criticizes himself, in his own eyes he is always right
and he is sharply dissatisfied with the people around him and
with the conditions of his life.
Here is a perfect illustration of the depth of
St. John of the Ladder’s determination: “Pride is extreme
poverty of the soul.”
A proud man suffers defeat on all fronts:
Psychologically - anguish, gloom, barrenness.
Morally - solitude, the drying up of love, anger.
Physiologically and pathologically - nervous illness and madness.
From a theological point of view - the death of
the soul preceding physical death, the experience of hell
while still in this life.
In conclusion it is natural to pose a question:
how to struggle against this illness, how to oppose the
destruction which threatens those who follow this path? The
answer springs from the essence of the question: first of all
- humility; then - obedience, in increments - to loved
ones, to elders, to the laws of the world, to objective
truth, to beauty, to all that is good within us and around
us, obedience to the law of God, and finally - obedience to
the Church, its rules, its commandments, its mystic sacraments.
And to achieve this - follow that which stands at the
beginning of the Christian path: “Whosoever wishes to follow
Me, must renounce himself.”
Renounce himself…. and must continue renouncing
himself every day; every day a person must take upon himself
his cross - a cross of enduring affronts, placing oneself
last, suffering sorrows and illnesses, silently accepting abuse,
offering total and unconditional obedience - immediate,
voluntary, joyous, fearless, constant obedience.
And then the path into the kingdom of peace and
profoundest wisdom, which destroys all passions, shall become
open to him.
Glory be to our God, Who opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble!
Protopriest Alezxander Elchaninov.
