"In Your light we shall see light."
Man thirsts for
enlivenment, inspiration… For a lamp to shine, the presence of
transparent glass is not enough, there must be a candle burning within
there is a need for a candle to burn within him. This is what the Lord
did with His apostles: first, having purified them with truth, He
enlivened them with the Holy Spirit, and only then did they become a
light for the world.
This process is inevitable for every Christian.
First, a cleansing by Truth and then enlightenment by the Spirit. Truth
repudiates the inborn inspiration as something ludicrous; it deadens it
so that the Spirit, having come, will resurrect him in a renewed form.
If a person, before he is cleansed by truth, begins to be guided by his
own inspiration, will begin to emit, not a pure light, but one that is
tainted and polarized by a filter of his own damaged heart, where good is interspersed with evil.
The soul is lonely in this world and seeks the
source of true, meaningful life and renewal outside it. At times the
soul locks itself in, becomes introverted, lives inside its own world,
and there, finds light.
The fundamental characteristic of the inner world or
the emotional life is a troubled soul, an unceasing search for light
and joy. A constant ebbing and flowing of the tide, striving, lifting up
and being dropped to the ground, — calling like shadows of a spring
dawn, and without hope, like the twilight. Flashes of lightning of
partially solved mysteries and a bitter feeling of futility of all
efforts…
"The beloved pierces the mind with a ray of his own
light, and instantly flees from the fast traveling mind. The more it
becomes aware, the more it distances itself, wrenching itself from the
hands, beckons and draws the soul to follow" (Gregory the Theologian).
"All sensations of my mind and soul concentrated on
the indescribable pleasure seeking and joy from that ebullient light.
But when that immeasurable light appeared before me and then diminished
little by little, and finally became invisible, I then came to my senses
and found out what wonders the power of this light had suddenly created
in me…. That light when it comes, brings joy and when it disappears,
leaves a wound and an ache in the heart" (St. Simeon the New Theologian
86th sermon).
"When I see the increasing malady of the tongue
nowadays, fast evolving sages, newly created theologians, for whom it is
sufficient to only want to become wise: then I feel a need for wisdom
from above and I search with Jeremiah "a lodging place for travelers "
(Jeremiah 9.2) and I want to be alone, by myself… Denying the flesh and
turning back on the world, and only in dire need succumbing to anything
human, communing with God and oneself, to live above the visible; always
to have divine images in the mind, pure ones that are not jumbled with
distant and deceptive impressions; to be and unceasingly become an
untainted mirror of God and of the divine; to accumulate more light to
an existing light, to a light less clear, a beaming one, until we ascend
to the Source of that radiance and reach a blessed end…" (Gregory the
Theologian, pt. 2).
Perception of light, in the experience of visions of
an "inner light" are as real as perceptions of physical light. In the
written works of the saints quite often we read that they perceived this
immaterial, Divine light. At times it appears so powerful, that it
emits light to the outside and is perceived as physical light, making
the body of the ascetic radiant. Spiritual beauty is a blinding beauty
of a radiant, light bearing image, incomprehensible to mortal beings.
The face of abba (=father) Pamvo shone like
lightning, and he was like a king, sitting upon his throne…" Before the
repose in the Lord of abba Sisoi, when the holy fathers were gathered
around him, his face shone like the sun…. A passerby encountered abba
Siluan and seeing that his face and body shone like an angel, fell on
his face… One brother having come to a monastery, looked through the
door of abba Arseny’s cell and saw that the starets was, as if ablaze.
Motovilov said to Saint Seraphim: "Father I cannot look, because flashes
of light are gushing out from your eyes. Your face has become brighter
than the sun, and my eyes are aching with pain…"
The wondrous Fire that was burning inside St.
Sergius attracted those people who had seen him, at least once. During
the singing of "To Thee we sing," the fire came down "as if from the
sky, and moved on the altar engulfing the whole altar and surrounded St
Sergius as he was serving the liturgy. While he was partaking of the
Holy Sacrament, the divine light descended into this chalice. Something
similar had also occurred in the life of the starets (elder)
hieromonk Ambrosy. To some extent there was an illumining in the face of
Bishop Theophan the Recluse and the righteous St. John of Kronstadt.
Father John stood before the Lord as if before the sun and feeling an
ineffable brilliance of the divine light, closed his eyes, and clearly
felt himself to be in the rays of this light and from them he felt
warmth, joy and closeness to Christ the Savior… From the grace of God
his face was beautiful, like that of an angel, and one wanted to gaze at
him… Sin perverts man but grace luminously adorns him… The Holy Spirit
lives in us and makes us resemble the Lord Jesus Christ, just like
children resemble their father.
There had been many emissions of inner light of ascetics of the 6th
century and recorded in "The Spiritual Field" and in the lives of the
saints. The heritage of the holy fathers on the divine light is
enormous. This amazes us and unspeakably gives us joy. In it, is
Christ’s concerned love for helpless people… However, there is no Mt
Tabor without suffering, and there is no support for one’s spirit,
outside contemplation of Christ.
Know the Lord and His likeness will reflect in you
and it will not allow darkness to overpower you, to bind you like a
sinner until eternity, deprived of the ability to do good. Let deathly
horror and sanguine sweat and the Lord’s suffering pass before your
eyes. When you look at Him, He who endures suffering, will look at you
and will do with you, what He did, at one time, with Peter, you will "go
and begin to cry bitterly…"
The Gospel is the fullness of the Revelation. It is —
the sun, in comparison with which, other holy books are only planets,
that shine with reflected light. There, God prophesied with the mouths
of prophets. Here, the Son of God, Himself, converses with us — God-man,
whose whole life was the revelation of light. "I am the light of the
world" (Jn.8:12).
He is not just a bearer of light, but is Himself —
Light, incarnate, light of the Hypostases. Whoever believes in Him,
knows through experience, that he owes his inner enlightenment to this
universal light, as much as in the physical world, he owes it to the
sun. Christianity is not only a religion of love, but also of light.
Christ taught the mysteries of the Kingdom of God, teaching about the
laws of an eternal, divine life, of the "inner light" as a spiritual
life, of one being God-man. In so much as the soul is more precious than
the body, the inner or spiritual life is more important than the outer,
physical life. Conversely, the inner, spiritual darkness is more
dangerous, more perilous, more horrific than the black of the night, or
blindness. Whoever loses the inner sight, forfeits with it the eternal,
divine life, to which light belongs, just as it is in the physical life
(Jn.1:4).
Enlightenment of both the body and soul is only
necessary within the parameters of space and time. Meanwhile, what is
the point of examining infusorians under the microscope and not even
once glancing into one’s own soul? What joy is there in using
electricity and never seeing the sun’s rays during the day? Inner,
spiritual light, not only enlightens, but it also enlivens. The quantity
of inner light will always be proportionate to the level of our
spiritual growth. Abundance of spiritual light is conditional upon some
great feat. We are convinced of this because of the examples and
teachings of the saints, who embodied these, together with spiritual
excellence and a vivid brilliance reaching an outer radiance, the
brilliance of the "inner light."
Mysterious is the nature of spiritual light. The
essence of this light is divinely incomprehensible. In its ultimate
revelations, the inner light is Divine Light. It reveals the mysteries
of the past and the future. It brings one to an understanding of
religious truths, speculations, ideas… In its unfathomable essence, the
Divine Light is superior to any soul. It is inherent in the spiritual
world, as a whole. A pure heart, a brilliant mind, a sensitive
conscience- are only ways to contemplating it. In its own right, it is
"a great mystery of godliness" (1Tim.3:16).
You, O Lord are all sweetness, all light and life.
Enlighten us with the light of Your Divine wisdom. Glorify us with Your
Divine power and abandon us not, we who depend on You.
From the Spiritual Treasure Trove of Archpriest Nikolai Deputatov.
