Elder Paisios With His Parents
Children should be very attentive in the matter of
respecting their parents. When children do not respect their
parents and are impertinent towards them, then, first of all,
they are deprived of grace and secondly, they become the
receptors of demonic influences and energy.
A certain layman said to the elder: “Father, my
parents are constantly whining and I can barely tolerate it.
What should I do?”
- Well, my blessed one, when you were in your
crib, you whined day and night. At that time they took you
in their arms and caressed you with great tenderness and
love. Would you have liked it, if they had decided to send
you to some educational institution so that they could have
some rest? God’s truth is now giving you a chance - to
some degree - to repay your debt to your parents by treating
them in a way similar to the way they had once treated you,
- replied the elder.
Many people cannot tolerate trials, but complain
constantly. Some even include their parents in this
intolerance. And in what way are the parents to blame?
People give to their descendants that which they can give as
human beings. They give them flesh. And the soul is given
by God. And thus let us assume that God creates man
through man. So how are the parents guilty when a child is
born handicapped?
Do as much good as possible for your
grandparents! Most helpful of all, in my opinion, is our
spiritual flourishing. When we flourish spiritually, then we
help our family members extraordinarily. First of all, because
they then receive the right to divine aid. When a person
truly shows himself to be virtuous, - then the grandfathers
and the great-grandfathers become justified. Secondly, the
prayers of a true Christian have great power: our ancestors
are helped in this respect, too. But even simply the joy
which our ancestors feel as they take pride in us, - this
joy is not insignificant! And, conversely, when we live
badly, when we turn away from God and do not keep His
commandments, then they, our poor ancestors, struggle and
suffer… “It would be better for them not to be born!”
Let each one put himself in the place of
another. Unfortunately, the prevailing spirit that reigns among
us today demands that we seize our place by force, and not
have any sympathy towards others. When we put ourselves in
the place of others, then everything goes well. For example:
if a young woman were to put herself in the place of her
old mother-in-law, and were to think that quite soon she
herself would become a mother-in-law, and that if her own
daughter-in-law would not want to help her and would speak
harshly with her, - would she not treat her old mother-in-law
with all manner of politeness? You should know that if we
do not behave in a spiritual manner, then spiritual laws will
go into action. And the following will happen: God will
take away His love from the heartless person, in order to
make him pay in his life what he owes.
A certain layman complained to the elder about
the difficulties he experienced with his family due to his
parents’ grumbling, his wife’s oddities and his children’s
horrendous behavior.
The elder saw things in a different light: “God
allows us to experience difficulties as payment for our own
ugly behavior in childhood. We are upset with grandfather and
grandmother (our father and mother), but we have forgotten
how upset they used to be with us when we were little. We
no longer remember how because of us they had no time to
sleep or to rest, because they lived in constant worries and
concern over us. Now it is our turn to put up with their
elderly grumbling and to take care of our parents with the
same affection with which they surrounded us in our infancy.
God finally gives us the opportunity to ‘cancel out’ our
infantile whining. And this is just. If we do not agree
to this, we will remain forever in debt. By the way, we
suffer from our wives and children in order to pay for our
own sins.”
Do not be upset if you have inherited defects,
but also do not pride yourself upon inherited virtues, because
God will judge the effort each individual has applied towards
correcting his inherited nature.
