We are not justified by correcting ourselves, not by good deeds; all
this is undermined by our common sinfulness, and in any case we are
obliged to do it by our God-like nature. But we are justified by
humility and repentance: A sacrifice to God is a broken spirit; a hear
that is contrite and humble God will not despise. You will find this
somewhere in the letters of Optina Elder Macarius. Therefore, it is good
that you have failings and weaknesses; with repentance and contrition
they will lead you into Paradise. But if you do not have any, then a
trust in your own correctness can hinder you greatly through secret
self-esteem and a pharasaical trust in the labors and virtues you have
borne: “I have earned it — pay me!”
We are all insane over self-esteem, and therefore when we correct
ourselves a little in some way or other, we at once give value to
ourselves and unnoticeably become refined pharisees: we praise ourselves
for what grace has done, according to God’s mercy, and not because of
our achievements. Therefore, in spiritual matters correctness can do us
more harm than incorrectness with a feeling of repentance. You will say:
“With correctness one can also repent.” Repent of what, if we see
ourselves as correct? It is just a step away from deception. True
correctness cannot exist. Therefore, the Holy Fathers teach that deeds
do not justify us, even if we are obliged to do good deeds (by the power
of God), as a bird is obliged to sing, for that is why it is created.
We are created to do good deeds; such is our nature. It would be silly
to become proud that we have to arms and two legs — such is our nature.
And if we do not do good deeds, then we err severely against our nature
and God’s will. Therefore, it is good to the deeds, but not in order to
boast in our struggles and achievements, but in order to acquire a
greater degree of humility and repentance. He who fasts and prays not to
acquire humility and repentance, but for pleasing God and
self-justification — is quite mistaken.
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