The question of Abba Dorotheus to the Great Elder:
-- Q: I am being strongly attacked by sexual passion; I am afraid that I
may fall into despondency, and that from the infirmity of my body I
will not be able to restrain myself; pray for me, for the Lord’s sake,
and tell me, my Father, what I should do?
A: Brother! The devil, out of envy, has raised up warfare against you.
Guard your eyes and do not eat until you are full. Take a little wine
for the sake of the body’s infirmity of which you speak. And acquire
humility, which rends all the nets of the enemy. And I, who am nothing,
will do what I can, entreating God that He might deliver you from every
temptation and preserve you from every evil. Do not yield to the
enemy, O brother, and do not give yourself over to despondency, for this
is a great joy to the enemy. Pray without ceasing, saying: “Lord Jesus
Christ, deliver me from shameful passions,” and God will have mercy on
you, and you will receive strength by the prayers of the Saints. Amen.
-- Q: The same brother, being attacked by the same sexual passion, asked
the same Great Elder to pray for him and to tell him how to distinguish
whether a man is being tempted by his own lusts or by the enemy.
A: Brother! Without labor and contrition of heart no one can be
delivered from passions and please God. When a man is tempted by his
own lust, this may be known from the fact that he is careless about
himself and allows his heart to reflect about what he has done before;
and then a man himself draws passion unto himself through his own lust.
His mind, being little by little blinded by passion, begins, unnoticeable for himself, to pay attention to someone for whom he feels
attraction, or to speak with him, and he finds occasions on which to
converse with him or to sit with him, and by all means he strives to
fulfill his desire. If one allows thoughts to pay heed in this, warfare
will increase until a fall, albeit not in body but in spirit, in
agreement with thoughts; and it turns that such a man lights the fire
himself in his own substance. But a sober and prudent man who desires
to be saved, when he sees from what it is that he suffers harm,
carefully preserves himself from evil remembrances, is not drawn into
passionate thoughts, avoids meetings and conversations with those for
whom he feels attraction and avoids every occasion for sin, fearing lest
he himself ignite a fire within himself. This is the warfare which
proceeds from one’s own lust, which a man brings on himself . . .
Tame your steed with the bridle of knowledge, lest, looking here and
there, he become inflamed with lust towards women and men and throw you,
the horseman, to the ground. Pray to God, that He may turn “your eyes,
lest they see vanity” (Psalms 118:37). And when you will acquire a
manful heart, warfare will depart from you. Cleanse yourself, as wine
cleanses wounds, and do not allow stench and filthiness to accumulate in
you. Acquire weeping, so that it might remove from you freedom
(looseness) in your relations, which destroys the souls that adopt it.
Do not throw away the implement without which fertile land cannot be
worked. This implement, made by the Great God, is humility: it uproots
all the tares from the field of the Master and gives grace to those who
dwell in it. Humility does not fall, but raises from a fall those who
possess it. Love weeping with all your heart, for it also is a
participant in this good work. Labor in everything to cut off your own
will, for this is accounted to a man for sacrifice. This is what is
meant by: “For Thee we are mortified all the day, we are accounted as
sheep for slaughter” (Psalms 43:22). Do not weaken yourselves by
conversations, for they will not allow you to prosper in God. Firmly
bridle the organs of your senses: sight, hearing, smelling, taste, and
feeling, and you will prosper by the grace of Christ. Without tortures
no one is a martyr, as the Lord also has said: “In your patience possess
ye your souls” (Luke 21:19), and the Apostle says, “in much endurance,
in sorrows” (II Corinthians 6:4).
-- Q: Pray for me, my Father, I am very much disturbed by thoughts of
sexual sin, despondency, and fear; and a thought says to me that I
should converse with a brother to whom I feel attracted when I see him,
lest by my silence I give him occasion for suspicion. I feel likewise
that the demons are somehow pressing me, and I fall into fear.
A: Brother! You are not yet instructed in warfare with the enemy, which
is why there come to you thoughts of fear, despondency, and sexual sin.
Stand against them with a firm heart, for combatants, unless they
labor, are not crowned, and warriors, unless they show the King their
skill in battles, do not become worthy of honors. Remember what David
was like. Do you not also sing: “Test me, O Lord, and try me, kindle my
inwards parts and my heart” (Psalms 25:2). And again: “If a regiment
arm itself against me, I will hope in Him” (Psalms 26:3). Likewise,
concerning fear: “For if I should go in the midst of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me” (Psalms 22:4). And
concerning despondency: “If the spirit of the powerful one should come
upon thee, do not leave thy place” (Ecclesiastes 10:4).
Do you not wish to be skilled? But a man who is not tested by
temptations is not skilled. It is battles that make a man skilled. The
work of a monk consists of enduring battles and opposing them with
manfulness of heart. But since you do not know the cunning traps of the
enemy, he brings thoughts of fear and weakens your heart. You must
know that God will not allow against you battles and temptations above
your strength; the Apostle also teaches this, saying: “Faithful is the
Lord, Who will not leave you to be tempted more than you can bear” (I
Corinthians 10:13).
Brother! I also in my youth was many times and powerfully tempted by
the demon of sexual sin, and I labored against such thoughts,
contradicting them and not agreeing with them, but presenting before my
own eyes eternal tortures. For five years I acted thus every day, and
God relieved me of these thoughts. This warfare is abolished by
unceasing prayer with weeping.
And the fact that the demons are pressing you proceeds from their envy;
if they could, they would chase you out of your cell also; but God does
not allow them to take possession of you, for they do not have authority
for this. God could swiftly relieve you, but then you would not begin
to oppose another passion (when it comes). May the demons not weaken
you so as to turn your attention to a brother (to whom you are
attracted), or to converse with him; but If you should happen
unexpectedly to come together with him, against your desire, restrain
your glance with fear and decency and do not listen attentively to his
voice. And if this brother, out of ignorance, should himself begin to
speak with you or sit next to you, then skillfully avoid him, but not
suddenly, rather with decorum. Say to your thought: “Remember the
terrible Judgment of God and the shame which will then overtake those
who are attracted by these shameful passions.” Compel your thought, and
you will receive help, by the prayers of the Saints, and God will have
mercy on you. Do not be a child in mind, “but a child in malice” (I
Corinthians 14:20); in mind, O brother, be perfect. Pay heed to yourself, as to how you will meet God. Amen.
-- If you wish to be delivered from shameful passions, do not behave
with anyone familiarly, especially with those toward whom your heart is
inclined by a lustful passion; through this you will be delivered also
from vainglory. For in vainglory is involved the pleasing of men, in
the pleasing of men is involved familiarity of behavior, and familiarity
of behavior is the mother of all passions.
-- Q: What should I do, my Father? I suffer from sexual passion.
A: As much as you can, wear yourself out, but according to your
strength; and have hope not in this, but in love from God and in His
protection, and do not give yourself over to despondency, for
despondency serves as the beginning of every evil.
-- Q: What do the words you have spoken mean: “See to it, lest you be drawn away by a thought of sexual sin?”
-- A: This happens not only with regard to sexual passion, but in other
cases also. The mind is subjected to this as a consequence of
distraction, and when this happens a man should cry out to himself,
saying: “O Lord! Forgive me for the sake of Thy holy Name; I have been
subjected to this for my negligence. Deliver me from distraction and
from every net of the enemy; for Thine is the glory unto the ages.
Amen.” And let the following be for you the sign by which you may know
that you are drawn away: if one is speaking with others and his mind is
distracted here and there, it happens that when he speaks of one thing
his thought passes over to something else; this is what it is to be
drawn away. Likewise, if anyone is doing something and passes over in
thought to something else; in his forgetfulness he either ruins what he
is doing or does something more than necessary, and this is likewise (a
case of) being drawn away. In the same way a sexual thought draws us
away. It happens that one is conversing with another, and if the enemy
succeeds in drawing his mind away from God-pleasing sobriety, then, as a
consequence of distraction, a sexual desire appears in the mind. And
this is likewise a drawing away, because it has happened not from
reflection or remembrance, but a man is drawn away by it out of
forgetfulness. And such a one is like a traveller who, by reason of
grief that comes upon him, goes away from the straight road and finds
himself on another road. But coming back to himself, a man should call
out to himself, according to what has been said above, and hasten to
God’s mercy. The Lord is merciful and will accept him like the prodigal
son; we know with what mercilessness He accepted the latter. But when
this warfare arises in the mind even without distraction, one must be
sober, not take enjoyment of such thoughts, no tarry in them, but all
the sooner hasten to God the Master.
from “Saints Barsanuphius and John: Guidance Toward Spiritual Life,”
trans. by Fr. Seraphim Rose, (Platina, California: St. Herman of Alaska
Brotherhood, 1990), pp. 71 - 76, 113, 126-127 (selections).
